The Bird And The Worm
by Windup Dollie
Summary: Rated to be safe. Gaara, all alone. Well he has Shukaku, his other personality, to keep him sane. Well actually he does the exact opposite for the poor boy. Murder, swearing, typical Gaara phycoticness AU


Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!!!!! it and all of its charactors belong to Misashi Kisimoto. AND I DO NOT OWN THE BIRD AND THE WORM!!!!! That song belongs to The Used.

Warning: There is rape (not graphic, its just mentioned) murder, and a bit of cussing

_Song_

**'Shukaku speaking in Gaara's head'**

**"Shukaku speaking through Gaara's mouth"**

"Normal Speach"

_

* * *

__He wears his heart safety-pinned to his backpack  
his backpack is all that he knows...  
Shot down by strangers whose glances can cripple  
the heart and devour the soul..._

"Its Gaara! Sabaku no Gaara!" whispered some girl to her friend as I pass. I wasn't doing anything, really, just walking down the street. But people were glareing at me, avoiding my gaze. Women were hurrying there children along, trying to get them away. Away from me. Men were calling out things at me, what were they saying?

"Freak!"

"Monster!"

"Go back to Hell where you belong!"

Freak? Monster? What are they talking about? They don't know me, nobody knows me, so what gives them the right to say those hurtful things? I stop walking and slowly turned to face the one who had named me 'freak'. I diddn't say anything to him, no, I just glared. This causes the man to stumble backwards and begin stammering apologies which I ignore and go on my way, pretending not to care about the looks of hatred or fear in the eyes of those I pass. Pretending not to hear the awful things they were saying to me, saying about me. I tell my self that I dont care what they say, but I do. I tell myself that I'm alone and it doesn't matter what kind of reputation I have, I am alone so it really doesn't matter what they call me, what they say I've done... Alone, all alone. My pase quickens and soon I am at the door  
of my shitty little apartment, the word 'alone' echoing in my mind.

_All alone he turns to stone  
while holding his breath half to death!  
Terrified of what's inside  
to save his life  
he crawls like a Worm from a Bird!  
(all alone,  
(crawls like a worm from a bird)_

I drop the bag of groceries I had been carrying down on the ground and slam the door.

**'welcome home Gaara' **I freeze, that voice...

" I see your awake" I growl at him, knowing perfectly well that the voice is in my head. But I didn't care anymore if I looked crazy. He chuckels at me, "What?"

**'You don't look crazy, Gaa-chan. You are crazy.'** I growl at him, or rather, at myself for the '-chan' that was added to the end of my name. Slowly making my way to the washroom to wash the khol from around my eyes I tug at my hair. Now I splash water over my face, the cold water feels nice..

"Damn it," I hiss aloud, glaring at the mirror. But I do not see myself reflected within it. I see him, Shukaku. I see his sandy brown hair instead of my blood red. His glowing gold eyes instead of my bloodshot sea-foam geen. His ears, his tail. Tanuki. The other side of my personality takes the form of a half raccoon, half human. Weird. I know... or do I? "...out of my mind" I murmer to no one. But Shukaku seems to think I'm talking to him, since there is nobody else I could have been talking to.

**'Damn right,'**

_Out of his mind away  
pushes him whispering:  
"Musta been out of his mind..."  
Mid-day dillusions of pushing this  
out of his head  
make him out of his mind.. (out of his mind hehehehe)_

I leave the bathroom and sit down on the small futon that lays on the floor of my livingroom/bedroom. Shukaku is talking to me I realise. I bring my hands to my head and cover my ears in attempt to block out his voice. It doesn't work.

"**Gaa-chan?" **He askes me, my lips are moving to his words.

"What?" I awnser myself.

**"Do you remember your sister? Temari, wasnt it?"**

"Yeah, what about her?"

**" I was just remembering how fun it was to kill her."**

"Shut up."

**" Why? Don't you agree, gaa-chan?"**

"No I don't."

**"Awww, c'mon. Admit it. It was fun."**

"No it wasn't, now shut up**"**

**"I think the best part was when she started crying when she realized the one with the saw was her darling little brother"**

"Shut up!" My hands clutched at my skull, pulling hard at my hair. Trying desperatly to focus on the pain and ignore Shukaku's words, which were being pulled past my lips.

**"You remember what we were doing with the saw?"**

"No, no, no no, no no, no..." I whispered over and over again, still tugging on my crimson locks, I stood and stumbled backwards. I was face to face with a mirror that was hung on the back of the front door. Shukaku smirked at me. He continues,

**"Yes, you remember. You remember how we bound her to her bed, you remember the naughty things we did to her. don't you?"**

I didn't awnser him. I just froze in place as I remembered, remembered what I had done to her before I...

**"Then, as she was begging you to stop we took off the blindfold. Thats when she started crying, am I right? Then we brought the saw down to her theigh and we..."**

I screamed, the tears ran down my pale cheeks. The blood, the look on Temari's face, n-no just ... just, stop it. I had a beer bottle in my hand, "STOP IT!" I threw the bottle at the mirror, they both shattered into millions of peices. Shukaku stepped towards me, free of the glass prison.

**'They're right you know, you are a monster, Gaa-chan.' **He took another step so now he was right infront of me. Slowly he brought his left hand to my face and gently cupped my cheek.

"I am not a monster," I whisper.

**'Go ahead, Gaa-chan, keep telling yourself that.' **He dissapeared, leaving me alone in my mind, alone in my shitty little apartment, standing in the middle of a pile of broken glass. I fall to my knees, barely registering that shards of glass were burrying themselves in my legs. Barely noticing the pool of blood that was growing anound me. Hes right, I'm right. I am a monster.

_All alone he turns to stone  
while holding his breath half to death!  
Terrified of what's inside  
To save his life,  
he crawls like a worm...  
(crawls like a worm!)  
crawls like a Worm from a Bird_!

I am going to hurt somebody, I know. I don't want to hurt anybody but I always do. After I have a fight like this with Shukaku I leave, and when I come back my hands are stained red with innocent blood. Why? Why must I hurt people? I don't want to, no, no, no. I scare myself when I let Shukaku out and hurt sombody. I know its me raising the knife. Not Shukaku, me. He is me, I am him. We hurt people, but why?

**'Because it makes you feel alive'** Shukaku whispers in my mind as I leave my home. I don't bother to lock the door, theres nothing to steal. I don't even bother to bandage the wounds on my legs, maybe I'll die of blood loss. Wouldn't that be nice?

_All he knows  
if he can't relieve it, it grows...  
and so it goes...  
he crawls like a worm...  
(crawls like a worm from a bird)_

I realize that I am waiting in a dark ally now. Waiting for some unsuspecting person to walk bye and...

"BYE TEME!" Cried a hyper blonde, waving his arm and jumping up and down at a raven haird boy.

"Whatever, Dobe." The raven haired boy replied, his voice void of any emotion. The yellow haired boy skipped merrily down the ally and his unemotional friend went in the opposite direction. The boy passes me and freezes, maybe he heard me. Maybe not. Its too dark to see, so yeah, he probably hear me take a shaky breath as I got behind him. Quietly I raise the glass and bring it down on his shoulder. The blonde yelps in both pain and suprise, he whirls around to face his attacker. Me.

"Why the fuck did you do tha-" He began to scream, but he never got to finish his sentence because I stabbed the glass shard through his forehead. He falls to the ground, dead. And like all the other times I felt truely alive. I smirk down at the lifless form of my prey.

**'Well done'** Shukaku whispers. But that feeling. That feeling of truely being alive slowly begins to dissapear. His life wasn't enough. Not enough, no, Never enough. No matter how many lives I claim it will never be enough.

So I go back to my shitty little appartment, to do it all over again.


End file.
